37 Providence, United States
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My self-summary
A diacritic is a mark that is used to set a letter, syllable or word apart from others that look otherwise similar. On a mostly unrelated note, I want to start a band called Macron Below.

tl;dr - things to know: I am poly, and married. I'm bi. I'm a writer and an ops engineer but I make a lot more at the latter. This profile is huge but I hate to trim it; if you don't get through the whole thing I won't blame you, but at least check out the "you should message me if" section.

A collection of mostly true things that are mostly "I" statements:

I have a strange knack for finding four-leaf clovers.

I used to have a crush on Pippi Longstockings, Red Fraggle, Carmen Sandiego, and Polly O'Keefe. For certain values of "used to". I'm more about Ramona Flowers from the books than the one in the movies, more into Knives Chau than either, given that she has actual agency and manages to turn Scott down because he's obviously completely toxic. Except, like, older Knives, obviously.

I'm wildly extroverted, but I'm good at introvert care.

I'm awfully fond of the sorts of things people associate with coffee shops, although drinking coffee is a recent change for me.

I'm a feminist, but only for the chicks.

I act like a gas in social situations, both in the sense that I'm funny and in the sense that I expand to fill available social space. Maybe this just makes me a gasbag.

My enneagram is ENFP and my sun sign is Team Mystic.

I'm like if your professor fetish had better hair.

I am over 30 years old and standing on my balcony filling my neighborhood with soap bubbles.

I'm famous on the intranet.

Things I have brought to a first date include: crayons, chocolates, handcuffs, Good Omens, absinthe, and a duffel bag with three day's worth of clothes. Different dates, though.

I am what happens when an old timey lumberjack goes through a magical princess transformation sequence.

I am sapio-asexual, which is to say that I find "sapiosexual" offensively ableist, likely racist and classist and ultimately sort of eugenicist. Take your made-up "orientation" and go home.

I am low but non-zero maintenance.

I moonlight as a game designer, for card games, board games, tabletop games, etc. I have a few published credits that I'll point out if you're curious.

I have a song in my heart, a kite in my pocket, and a bottle opener on my head.

I'm not so superficial that I'll look at your pictures instead of reading your profile, but I'm just superficial enough that I'll look at your pictures first. Then I'll read your profile.

I get a little weirded out when I have a high match percentage with someone who looks too normal.

Team Mystic Chaotic Good Slytherbird Capricorn ENFP 7w8 Kinsey 2 purple-red E2
What I’m doing with my life
Occasionally reading my poetry in public. Even more occasionally winning poetry slams.

On leave from a CS master's program, startupping a startup in the data field.

Googlemapsing your city to see if it's accessible from Providence, as I'm doing the carless thing right now. I like it well enough but it makes things inconvenient.
I’m really good at
I used to claim here that I was only really bad at Othello (the game, not the play), but I'm recently discovering that I'm also bad at the following things:

* Twister
* Suffering fools
* Leaving well enough alone
* Not fidgeting
* Sleeping
* Accepting weaknesses

This does not answer the question, I know. Oh, right,

* Answering the question asked
The first things people usually notice about me
In person, I'm usually told it's my hair. Occasionally the glasses.

Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
I don't feel a need to list my absolute top picks of everything. Take these, then, not as my "favorites", but as the sort of things that, if mentioned in one's profile, would indicate someone I'd want to know.

Books: anything by le Guin or l'Engle (in particular the latter's novels aimed at adults rather than the ones everyone knows); Geek Love by Katherine Dunn; The Signal and the Noise by Nate Silver; Gödel, Escher, Bach, by Douglas Hofstadter (I ended up reading the chapter from this about jukeboxes and recursion while sitting next to a jukebox that was playing a song about jukeboxes); I'm the kind of "comics fan" who's mostly only read Sandman, but lately I'm getting into Chew (I like a good graphic novel, but I know very little about them, and my education is piecemeal).

I'm also, at the risk of getting too "inside baseball", reading Christian Rudder's Dataclysm, about the data behind web sites in general and OkCupid in particular. I'm enjoying it although, as per usual, I think some of Rudder's conclusions are more like assumptions.

OH MY GOD Edward Gorey illustrated a printing of Edward Lear's The Jumblies and no one told me about it. WHY DID NO ONE TELL ME ABOUT THIS?! THEY WENT TO SEA IN A SIEVE!

I'm also enjoying my audio books lately. Right now I'm on David Rakoff's Half Empty, which is as staggeringly sad and brilliant as every other word he ever set down.

Recently seen: Watching Lie to Me at the moment and enjoying it even if it's starting to make human interaction weird(er than it already was). I think The Sopranos is really a meditation on bad parenting in the same way that I think Breaking Bad is at its core a meditation on the problems caused by a toxic idea of masculinity. I liked Iron Man 3 better than the first two by a long shot but not as much as Quartet, to bring down the geek level a touch.

Iconic artists: The Avett Brothers,PJ Harvey,Rasputina,Blackalicious,Steeleye Span,Ben Sollee,Trout Fishing in America,Dan Bern,Mandy Marie and the Cool hand Lukes,Mates of State,Lucero,ilyAIMY,Bitch & Animal,Mark Lanegan,MC Frontalot,Jane Jensen,Dead Moon,The Roots,Jess Klein,Handsome Boy Modeling School

This is something I plan to keep up-to-date with what I'm currently listening to.

I love food, and I tend to play around with it. However, the recent discovery that I have celiac sprue has changed my diet significantly--honestly for the better all around. It's not nearly as bad as it sounds, and it also means I won't steal any of your bread.

If I use a recipe, it's as a reference point for ratios and not at all as a step-by-step of what I'm actually going to do. I'm often asked for recipes, but the best I can usually do is reverse-engineer my process and give an approximation. Recipes feel dead to me; actual cooking involves steps like "add flour until it looks right".

I sorely wish that savory cocktails would come back into vogue. I'm really tired of looking at a "martini list" and seeing seven things that are made with chocolate liqueur, four with sour mix, and absolutely none that are gin-and-a-hint-of-vermouth.

I listen to enough podcasts that I've decided to make a subsection just for them. I hit all the obvious high notes: This American Life, Radiolab (aka This American Life But Not Quite As Good), Welcome to Night Vale, The Savage Lovecast (which I enjoy while acknowledging that Dan Savage is a deeply problematic person who has never fully copped to how hateful is some of the stuff he's said about trans and bi folk) etc. There are also things like Planet Money and Hardcore History on my list. Tech podcasts like Security Now that I get to when the other stuff is done. I'm in the car a lot, although I'd like to be in it less.
The six things I could never do without
If one takes the occasional break to just point one's head away from the earth, one notices things that are both supremely present and entirely invisible to almost everyone else. It's like joining an exclusive club whose only membership requirement is that you occasionally look up.

I love, beyond belief love, the sensation of being in a place that is "supposed" to be full of people in its off hours, when there's no one there, or when only the true believers show up. Schools after school, churches in the middle of the night, bars on Christmas or the office on a holiday.

There is a temperature that a perfectly brewed hot drink hits when it's just short of too hot and not quite lukewarm when it becomes briefly just exactly right, and the ritual of *sip* *ow* *wait* *sip* *ow* *wait* *sip, sip siiiiiip, gulp gulpgulp* is addictive. I live for that moment when the temperature is beautifully perfect. Then I brew another. Turns out, in the office, this temperature is 1:47 in the microwave for one cup of water.

Museums are intensely appealing to me. Probably overly so. I've been known to become a bit... overwhelmed... and er... amorous... occasionally, in the right museum. Bodyworlds really did it for me, which probably touches on several other fascinations.

The crazy acceleration of communication technology is my favorite thing about this modern world, and I wouldn't want to live at any other time. We are on the cusp of something, and I think that something is fantastic. I cannot wait to see what next week brings, let alone next year.

We people have our problems and our faults, and we can be terrible to one another, but we are beautiful. Out of this chaos we create works of art and love toward one another and we never stop, we never stop, no matter how horrible our circumstances. Starving, beaten, ruined, we make beauty with our last breaths, in hopes that someone else might see it, or just in hopes that it might outlive us.
I spend a lot of time thinking about
On a typical Friday night I am
Home, because I'm recovering from Thursday's night out and getting ready for friends or lovers coming in on Saturday and staying through Monday. Fuck your prescriptivist notions of encapsulated party time.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
There are few things I'm unwilling to admit anywhere, but there are a handful of items that I've avoided putting in my profile. All together, they go a little something like this:

I'm an active liberal, a feminist, an environmentalist to some extent if not enough of one, and a political nerd. I'm somewhat kinky and dominant, but I'm capable of scaling the latter back to assertive when necessary. I'm non-monogamous. I'm compulsively honest and confessional, and am likely to tell you a lot more than you asked to (or wanted to) know about me. I think it's hilarious that there are people who, in 201X, are still embarrassed to be on a dating site. Let's see... I cry at sad movies, wounded animals, exceptionally pretty art and the occasional sunrise. I'm probably a hipster of some stripe, but I hate to admit it. "Asking people out" makes me a bundle of nerves for days afterward regardless of the response. I'm secretly an agent of the Zorklax Consortium here to harvest your human spleens for experimentation and display.
You should message me if
You should message me if you'd like to talk to me. I'm easy. Well, no, I'm very difficult, but you should still message me. I do love to travel, so if you'd make a good excuse to visit somewhere else you should hit me up.

For practical purposes, if you're interested in anything on a scale between casual dating and a serious-but-secondary relationship, but your profile doesn't indicate such, you should probably let me know. Unless you're pretty clear about such things, I'm probably not going to make the attempt myself. Also, if I'm outside your stated preferences, especially age range, but you still want to get in touch, you're going to have to reach out to me. I know some people mean those as soft limits, but others don't.

I'm married to OkCupid's cappysay and I am also seeing a nonzero number of other people. I am not looking for anyone to be a third to any of those relationships. All relationships are obviously open. Thus, I'm "available", but if you're wookin' pa nub and a one-true-love-forever-behind-a-white-picket-fence-with-two-kids-and-two-SUVs type, keep walking. If, instead, you want either a) a friend or b) someone to date casually, please toss me a line.

CAPTCHA: What's that book that you read and reread as a kid because it was comforting and you identified with the main character(s) and it was so close to your heart that you really just wanted to live in it? How long did it take you to wear the cover off of it? Do you still have your first copy?