The Which Sexual Calamity Are You Test

1. Philosophers and thinkers have been using sex for centuries as a metaphor for our lives.  For example, quoting from The Art of War, by Sun Tzu:  "The key to victory is surprise, but if you cum in my mouth without warning me I will kill you faster than the swift Yellow River."

   Following in these great footsteps, I have devised a cunning test to analyse your personality and categorize you as a sexual calamity.  This is not to say you will suffer from the disaster chosen; it's just a metaphor for your life.

2. 

Sun Tzu, take me away