The Which Gender are You? Test

1. This test will use complex mathematical theories such as the one pictured here to correctly determine your gender. While some of the questions may seem irrelevant to the untrained eye, I assure you this test is never wrong.

2. 

3. 1

   So uh... what gender are you?

   male

   female

   uh... isn't that the point of the test?

4. 2

   Seriously, what gender are you?

   male

   female

   I just told you I don't know, that's why I'm taking the freaking test genius.

   I already don't like where this is going

5. 3

   Who are you calling genius? You're the one taking a test to determine something you really should have known since you were 8 years old. Possibly before that.

   You

   Well, when you put it that way, me I guess

   Screw you and the horse your rode in on, I'm just bored and taking a random test to kill time

   When did this test turn into verbal abuse?

6. 4

   Which side do your pants button on? (which side is on top when they are buttoned)

   Left

   Right

   I only wear sweat pants as I haven't quite mastered the whole 'button fly' thing

   I don't wear pants

7. 5

   Of the following, which do you wear most often:

   Dress

   Suit and tie / tuxedo

   Clown suit

   Nothing at all

8. 6

   When you go clothes shopping, which section do you generally spend more time in?

   Mens

   Womens

   Childrens / Toys

   Shoes

9. 7

   Which of the following types of cheese is your favorite:

   Swiss

   The white one with all the little holes in it

10. 8

    Do you find most of the questions used to match you with potential mates on here are even less relevant than that last one?

    Yes

    No

    I want some cheese now... dangit

11. 9

    Speaking of cheese, ever watch "Foster's Home for Imaginary Friends" ? Youtube search for 'Cheese' . Trust me on this one.

    Yes

    No, I like to think I'm too sophisticated for cartoons but really I just have a stick stuck up my bum

    I like fishy crackers!

    What does this have to do with my gender again?

12. 10

    Did you find that last question offensive?

    No

    Yes, because I too have a stick stuck up my bum and get easily offended by everything I read online

    A little

    How would I find that offensive?

13. 11

    Do you think I care?

    Yes

    No

    You should

    Screw you

14. 12

    Given the opportunity, and knowing that no one would find out about it, would you slap yourself across the face with a large mouth bass?

    Of course! Who wouldn't?

    No, fish smell. Now a ferret on the other hand...

    Huh? Is there something wrong with you?

    Depends on the situation

15. 13

    I'd like to be serious for a moment if I could. How awesome would a kangaroo be as a pet?

    Totally kickass, I'd teach it to box.

    I'm too lethargic to be able to keep up with a kangaroo- unless I could dress it up as a butler and make it serve me Foster's beer

    Eh, I can think of a few better pets- for example...

    It would suck / I have a stick up my bum, remember?

16. 14

    Are you sick of this test yet?

    A little

    No, I'm rather easily entertained, which is why I'm here

    Yes, in fact I'm not even going to finish just to spite you

17. 15

    Enter a question here.

    Yes

    No

18. 16

    Enter a question here.

    Yes

    No

19. 17

    Enter a question here.

    Yes

    No

20. 18

    Enter a question here.

    Yes

    No

21. 19

    Enter a question here.

    Yes

    No

22. 20

    Have you figured out that I ran out of decent questions a long time ago and have just been rambling to kill time before I finally get my ass off the couch, stop watching the Simpsons on DVD, and start cleaning my apartment?

    Yes

    No

    You did what now?

    I like toast

23. 21

    Seriously, make this easier on everyone involved, what IS your gender?

    male

    female

    I'm waiting on the edge of my seat to find out just that and you keep stalling with all these pointless questions

    sloth

24. 22

    Does communism ever work? Even in theory?

    Yes, according to Marx

    No, according to Marx

    This question just put me on the 'no fly' list, didn't it?

    I have no idea what communism is / I am an idiot

25. 23

    Enter a question here.

    Yes

    No

26. 24

    Enter a question here.

    Yes

    No

27. 25

    Have you figured out that I ran out of decent questions a long time ago and have just been rambling to kill time before I finally get my ass off the couch, stop watching the Simpsons on DVD, and start cleaning my apartment?

    Yes

    No

    You did what now?

    I like toast

28. 26

    Seriously, make this easier on everyone involved, what IS your gender?

    male

    female

    I'm waiting on the edge of my seat to find out just that and you keep stalling with all these pointless questions

    sloth

29. 27

    Does communism ever work? Even in theory?

    Yes, according to Marx

    No, according to Marx

    This question just put me on the 'no fly' list, didn't it?

    I have no idea what communism is / I am an idiot

30. 28

    Enter a question here.

    Yes

    No

31. 29

    Enter a question here.

    Yes

    No

32. 30

    Have you figured out that I ran out of decent questions a long time ago and have just been rambling to kill time before I finally get my ass off the couch, stop watching the Simpsons on DVD, and start cleaning my apartment?
33. 31

    Seriously, make this easier on everyone involved, what IS your gender?
34. 32

    Does communism ever work? Even in theory?

Finished!