The Where Have You Been All My Life Compatibility Test

1. Hi! And welcome to my Where Have You Been All My Life Compatibility Test. I'll be using magic crystals, tea leaves, and of course your answers to determine if you're the one I've been waiting for all my life. Or if you're someone that I can at least have an interesting conversation with. For those who are serious about this test only one of the scores will actually mean anything. For those who like to take tests just for fun the other score will apply to you. Let's begin, shall we? After you...
2. 1

   Do you like children?

   Yes

   No

   With barbecue sauce.

   I'm not sure/maybe.

3. 2

   Are you solely into looks and/or physical beauty?

   Yes

   No

   No swamp monsters, please.

   Depends do you have a pulse.

4. 3

   Honesty is

   the best policy.

   something that I use occasionally.

   something I should try some time.

   the reason I got that ticket. Seriously, that cop looked like a man.

5. 4

   You're in my house and my cat (I don't really have one, yet!) rubs against you. What do you do?

   Bend down, scoop up the little fella, baby talk to him.

   Smile at him and comment on what a stunning animal he is.

   Smile and nudge him when my back is turned.

   Introduce yourself to the cat and ask him some questions about me.

6. 5

   If you bent down to pick him up and he claws at your face, what would your reaction be?

   Gently place him on the floor and apologize.

   Drop him like a ton of bricks while swearing, and then leave.

   Admonish me for my cat's lack of manners.

   Admonish the cat. Bad kitty, bad!

7. 6

   It's our first date and I have brought you flowers. What is your reaction?

   Thank you, they are so lovely.

   Thanks, I guess, but I hate gay crap like that.

   Which florist did you use?

   Did you know that some flowers are edible?

8. 7

   The moment has come for our first kiss. We're standing outside your house. I lean in and kiss you gently on the lips. Your reaction is...

   You thank me for a nice night and go inside.

   You go for round two and explore my cavities with your tongue.

   You grab my face and gently pull me close for another kiss.

   You recommend no onions and a stronger mint on our next date.

9. 8

   Have you ever read the book Fried Green Tomatoes at the Whistle Stop Cafe or at least seen the movie?

   Yes I have seen/read and I loved it!

   No, but I would be interested in reading/seeing it.

   No but I've had a salad at McDonald's.

   I don't believe in reading books.

10. 9

    I come home from work and I'm being a grouchy butt. What do you do?

    Ask me how my day was and then proceed to tell me about yours.

    Give me some alone time and talk to me later.

    Talk about everything that went wrong all day.

    Take a pair of socks, make puppets, and act out my fav show or movie.

11. 10

    I'm listening (singing along) to music in my little area of the house. You walk by and...

    Ask me why I didn't take the trash out yet.

    Tell me your upset because I'm not spending time with you.

    Sit down next to me and sing along to the music.

    Pull me out of my chair and have us do interpretive dance.

12. 11

    We are smootching in our room when my mother walks in on us. What's your reaction.

    Invite my mother to join us.

    Scream like a little girl and run for cover.

    Smile/ blush, and give me a look that says "Later."

    Come up with a story about needing to do CPR.

13. 12

    We're at a party that one of your friends/family members invited us to and I spill something on your outfit. What's your reaction?

    Run to the nearest room, scream "Your horrible," slam the door.

    Pull out your clorox pen and zap that stain into next week.

    Blush and run crying to your friend/ family member and tell them I suck at life.

    Put your hand on my arm or shoulder, give me a squeeze, smile and say "It's ok."

14. 13

    It's my birthday and I specifically asked you not to get me a present saying that you are the best present I could ever ask for. You...

    Get me a present anyway.

    Spend the money on something you want.

    Hire a balloon animal specialist and send him to my job.

    Cook my favorite meal and we have a special night in.

15. 14

    I say that a certain celebrity is hot in a movie that we are watching. I also say she's not as hot as you. Your reaction is...

    You call your mother/best friend and tell them how insensitive I am.

    You playfully poke me in the stomach and pull my arm around tighter.

    You look for the phone book and offer to make an eye appointment for me.

    You burst into tears saying that you are never going to be her.

16. 15

    We are having a fight and it seems like we are not going anywhere with it. What do you do?

    You tell me you love me but you just can't handle me right now.

    You challenge me to a wrestling match in the living room.

    You tell me that I'm a selfish jerk and leave the house.

    You go to your special place in the house for a breather.

Finished!