We're in Beta (aka: buggy)!

written by suggestivmonikr

The What's Your Major Malfunction (in Bed) Test

  1. WELCOME TO THE BETA! (rc1) - For your reading pleasure, the questions have been updated and scores are now curved to yield more varied results. As always I encourage sending your thoughts to me, Suggestivmonikr, via comment or PM. Have fun!

     

    Human coupling is a source of endless possibilities, for awesome but also for suck. If you've had sex, you know this already, but you may still be feeling unsure of where you fit in, or frustrated that you're not getting the most out of the experience. Or perhaps fearful of repeating an awkward evening?

     

    Knowledge is power, friend. It's my belief that given the countless permutations of likes, dislikes, mental and physical responses, there's someone out there for virtually everyone. BUT, and this is a bootyliciously large but, some of us really need to be particular.

     

    So, before you go thinking there's something wrong with your groove, consult this handy quiz and learn how to properly advertise yourself*. We'll be measuring you in four make-or-break areas of sexual chemistry:

     

    • Climax is the sensitivity of your physical response.
    • Carnality is your interest and ability to lose yourself in sex.
    • Control is your assertiveness and desire to have it your way, with domination and submission as the logical extrema.
    • Caution is your aversion to spontaneous, out-there and potentially risky action.

     

    Questions may assume straightness/maleness, but are (hopefully) applicable to anybody. If you're a virgin, on the other hand, you'll be answering some questions strictly in the hypothetical.

     

    *The result pages reference each other a lot. To see what I'm talking about, find the links graciously provided by OKCupid on your results page.

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About The Author

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I like writing quizzes, I think. I enjoy trying to figure out how the hell people and things work, self not excluded. Let's see if I actually know something about you humans.

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