The What Office Fixture Are You? Test

1. Hi! And welcome to my What Office Fixture Are You? Test. I'll be using a sense of humor, 3 used facial tissues, and brown paint chips to determine your true nature. Pick the answer closest to your natural choice. Or don't. I don't care. Just do whatever you want. You're going to anyway. Besides, you don't have to be a psychic brain surgeon to figure out where it's all leading. So, have at it. Feel free to let me know either how clever you think I am, or how trite you know I am.

2. 1

   It's the Office Holiday Party. You...

   are talking to everyone, maybe even flirting, and trying to make sure everyone's having a good time.

   are talking only to the influentials. Psst... you've got something brown on your nose.

   avoided even RSVP'ing. Parties make you break out in hives.

   are standing off in a corner by yourself, watching all the sheeple interact. How amusing.

3. 2

   You just emptied the pot of coffee. You...

   consider making another pot, but don't want to be seen doing anything so servile.

   don't drink coffee. At least not the crap the company buys. It's probably drugged anyway.

   make another pot right away, silly. Anything else would be inconsiderate.

   duck back into your cube/hole before anyone sees you left it. Someone might mess with your stuff if you're gone too long.

4. 3

   An associate makes an off-color joke. You...

   raise an eyebrow and sneer at them in disdain. Ignorant jerk!

   quickly rank their importance in the office and either guffaw heartily or shake your head.

   titter nervously, but run to HR to report them later for their own good. What if someone more easily offended had overheard them?

   never heard it. No one tells you jokes. They usually walk faster past your cube/hole.

5. 4

   The inside of your cube is...

   plastered with pictures of family and friends - even coworkers. You're *such* a people person!

   either decorated minimally to show your good taste (or your compliance with company policy), or has a few items that coincidentally show your boss you have the same interests.

   dark or non-existent. They keep moving you around...

   your domain. None shall enter without your permission.

6. 5

   You notice a mistake that has some potentially serious consequences. You...

   mumble your concerns to the boss, but he pretends not to hear you.

   go talk to the person who made the mistake, to give them a chance to correct it. That's what you'd want someone to do for you.

   don't care who made the mistake; you email everyone about it. The idiots in charge would take to long in fixing it if left to themselves.

   take it to the boss, making sure she knows it's not your mistake and you're actually very sharp to have discovered it.

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