The What Do You Know About Children, Anyway? Test

1. 1

   You have a 3 month-old baby. She's crying hysterically, and has been fed and changed. You:

   Try and feed her again

   Rub her back gently - it's probably gas

   Lay her down for a nap

   Hand her over to another adult and let them have a try

2. 2

   The best position for putting a baby to sleep is on her:

   Back

   Stomach

   Swing

   How the hell am I supposed to know?

3. 3

   What does SIDS stand for?

   Sudden Infant Distress Syndrome

   Sudden Infant Distress Symptoms

   Sudden Infant Death Syndrome

   Sudden Infant Death Symptoms

4. 4

   True or False: A prolonged case of hiccups can cause an infant to go into cardiac arrest.

   True

   False

   I have no clue

5. 5

   True or False: Picking up a baby (less than 2 years of age) every time she cries will spoil her, and she'll come to expect it.

   True

   False

   I have no clue

6. 6

   The purpose of shoes for a baby who's not yet walking is:

   To keep the socks on

   To prepare the baby for walking

   To make a fashion statement

   There is no purpose

7. 7

   When is a good idea to make the switch from a crib to a bed?

   When the crib is needed for another baby on the way

   When the child is 3

   When the child can roll over on his own

   When the child starts climbing out on his own

8. 8

   Why do babies cry on airplanes?

   To irritate the other passengers

   Because of the change in atmospheric pressure

   Because she doesn't want to be there

   Hell if I know!

9. 9

   What is middle child syndrome?

   Never being able to go first

   Always having to sit in the middle on car rides

   Feeling left out due to not being the oldest or the "baby"

   This question brings back too many bad memories

10. 10

    How many extracurricular activities (those which take place outside of school), on average, would you say is healthy for a child aged 10 or under?

    0-1

    2-4

    5-7

    8-10

11. 11

    Do you feel confident in assisting an 8 year-old with his math homework?

    Yes

    No way

    No, but I'd find someone who could

    Ugh, math

12. 12

    Recent studies report that teens are waiting longer to have sex. This is because:

    They do not consider oral sex to be "sex"

    They are abstaining

    They are better educated than they were 10 years ago

    I have no clue

13. 13

    Is watching tv with your children considered to be "quality time?"

    Yes

    No

    Depends on the show

    Depends on the age of the kids

14. 14

    Your 6 year-old son has fallen off his bike and scraped his knee, but is otherwise fine. He is crying hysterically. You:

    Give him a hug and encourage him to get back on his bike

    Tell him to stop crying and encourage him to get back on his bike

    Give him a hug and put the bike away for another day

    Tell him to stop crying and put the bike away for another day

15. 15

    Do you know the difference between discipline and punishment?

    Yes

    No

    There's a difference?

16. 16

    Discipline happens ______ a wrongdoing has occurred.

    At the same time

    After

    Before

17. 17

    What's the closest statement to your feelings about limits placed on children?

    Strict - if you give 'em an inch, they'll take a mile

    Authoritarian - kids need to listen and do as I say

    Authoritative - kids need routine and limits, but give them room to grow

    Permissive - let them have fun! They're only young once!

18. 18

    Dating (not as a group) should not take place until age:

    13

    14

    15

    16 or older

19. 19

    Do you know the warning signs of drug use in kids?

    Yes

    No

20. 20

    Which one of the following is NOT a warning sign of drug use in kids?

    Change in friends

    Withdrawal

    More active

    Change in weight/ eating habits

21. 21

    Is reading to children more about feeding their knowledge or spending quality time?

    Feeding knowledge

    Quality time

    Both!

    Neither!

22. 22

    Your 3 year-old son loves playing with Barbie dolls and wearing his mom's high heels around the house. Is this a strong indicator that he is gay?

    Yes

    No

    Maybe

23. 23

    Your 3 year-old daughter refuses to wear dresses and is always trying to peek at her mother's breasts. Is this a strong indicator that she is gay?

    Yes

    No

    Maybe

24. 24

    How many hours of sleep does a healthy teen require?

    6

    8

    10

    12 or more

25. 25

    If your young child (say, age 7) tells you that he has been sexually assaulted by his older cousin (your nephew, age 12), he is probably telling the truth.

    Yes

    No

    I don't know

26. 26

    If your same son (this time, age 10) tells you that he has been sexually assaulted by his friend's older brother (age 15), he is probably telling the truth.

    Yes

    No

    I don't know

27. 27

    At what age should children NOT be sleeping in the same bed as you?

    1-5

    6-10

    11-15

    They should never be sleeping in the same bed as me

28. 28

    Teenage girls wearing thongs: Ok, or not?

    Fine by me

    Not under my watch

    I don't care, it's her body

29. 29

    Teenage boys wearing their pants low (below the hips): Ok, or not?

    Fine by me

    Not under my watch

    I don't care, it's his body

30. 30

    Your teen (either sex) comes home with a green mohawk, and piercings in the lip, eyebrow, and nose. You:

    Encourage free expression, as long as it's nothing permanent yet like a tattoo

    Freak out, and ground him/her indefinitely

    Express my dismay, but go along with it

    Allow piercings or trendy hair, but not both

31. 31

    Your child has questions about sex at age 9. You:

    Brace yourself for "the talk"

    Give her the Cliff's Notes version

    Give her bare bones, and see what else she wants to know

    Tell her to go ask someone else

32. 32

    Would there be a difference in your reaction between your 14 year-old son asking about sex and your 14 year-old daughter?

    Yes

    No

    Depends

33. 33

    True or False: Allowing your child to listen to violent or depressive music will lead him/her to possible suicidal tendencies.

    True

    False

Finished!