The Sultry Jazz Sexyness Test

1. Too hip to be hep? To cool to be hot? So, you think you're a swinger, huh? This test will use amazing powers of intuitive observation, behavioral music theory and adaptive reflexology all mixed with spit valve goo to determine if you're a sexy beret wearing beatnik or a square.
2. 1

   Love is best when it's

   Slightly Out Of Tune

   Like a Hurricane

   Secret

3. 2

   A vibraphone is

   A "Special Friend" on a Lonely Night

   Something Invented by AT&T

   Best in the Hamptons

4. 3

   Scales...

   I Don't Need No Stinking Scales!

   Must be Scraped From Fish

   Are the Foundation of Music

5. 4

   An "Altered Dominant" is

   A Bondage Master whose had a Sex Change

   Best used on a Turnaround

   So Sour it's Sweet

6. 5

   Pork Pie Hat...

   Is My Favorite Cartoon Character!

   Had a Great Holiday

   Was Snipped by the Rabbi when I was a Baby

   Died Young

7. 6

   Jack Teagarden...

   Is a Great Drink

   Had a Big Bone

   Is a Great Club in Upper East Side

8. 7

   Scatting...

   Is Too Gross and Way Kinky

   Was Invented By a "Satchel Mouth"

   Only for Sax Players

9. 8

   _____ Gave Smack the Smack Down by Boxing...

   Miles

   Bird

   Monk

10. 9

    Bossa Nova

    Is a Crappy Car by GM

    Was Briefly Popular in the 60s

Finished!