Why, hello! You are going to die.
Yeah, it sucks, I know, but the good news is you don't have to live agonizing over how it is going to happen any longer. Sure, OKCupid can tell you when you're going to die, but I am going to tell you how you will die, using a simple system that analyzes a typical day in your life and your reaction to a few simple scenarios.
From this, I will be able to give you a specific description of the manner of death that awaits you. Bear in mind that you are not just subject to your own behavior regarding your demise. The universe has a say in it too. But it will be up to you to change your own fate...
