The How Paranoid Are You Test

1. Hi! And welcome to my How Paranoid Are You Test. I'll be using my own personal experience to determine your true nature.
2. 1

   How often do you check over your shoulder to make sure no one is following you?

   Every once in a while.

   Only when I'm doing something I shouldn't.

   Never. I have nothing to hide and no one to fear.

   I just walk backwards. It makes my life simpler.

3. 2

   Do you leave your door unlocked at night?

   Of course. Why wouldn't I?

   Sometimes. It's not a major priority.

   Only when I forget to lock it, which isn't very often.

   Never. Sometimes I even double check it in the middle of the night. Just to be safe.

4. 3

   When your significant other buys you a gift, what is your first thought?

   Oh no. What did he/she do now?

   Oh! How Sweet!

   It's a bomb! They're trying to kill me!

   Cheater!

5. 4

   What do you hide underneath your mattress?

   Nothing.

   A dirty magazine.

   A journal/diary.

   A knife.

6. 5

   Do you own a satellite radio?

   Yes. It's awesome.

   Yes, but I keep it off most of the time. Something about it just doesn't feel right.

   No way. The radio people just want more money from us. That's why there's so much static on the normal stations.

   No way! The government is just using them to track us. Just like cell phones.

7. 6

   A new neighbor moves in across the street from you. What do you do?

   Bake them some cookies to welcome them to the neighborhood.

   Introduce yourself. You want to check them out to make sure they're not too creepy.

   Immediately check to see if they're a registered sex offender.

   Keep your distance. They could be murderers.

8. 7

   The mailman delivers a small package to you that you weren't expecting. How do you respond?

   Anthrax! A bomb! It has to be something meant to kill me!

   Ooh! For me?!

   Open it cautiously.

   Take it to the post office to inquire where it came from.

9. 8

   How do you feel about the government?

   I trust them wholeheartedly.

   They're scamming us. We pay way too much in taxes.

   The government is just a legalized version of the mafia.

   They've got some fishy policies.

10. 9

    How comfortable are you giving someone else the keys to your house/apartment?

    I give them away like candy. Do you want a copy?

    I'll trust a new friend. I like to give people a chance.

    I'll give them to my family, close friends, and significant other, but that's my limit.

    I can't trust anyone with something that big.

11. 10

    Your little sister asks if she can use your computer. What do you say?

    "Sure. No problem."

    "Just don't eat or drink anything near it."

    "Not now. Maybe later." (She's just trying to find something to blackmail you with.)

    "Sorry, not today." (She's probably planning to crash it with a deadly virus.)

Next