The How Evil is Your Boyfriend Test

1. How Evil is Your Boyfriend? Not at all, the type that might bring you flowers, or completely, the type that might sacrifice you to the biscuit gods in your sleep? Here's where you can find out!! Perhaps you already know, and just want to make sure, or perhaps you want to make sure that your lover's quirks aren't warning signs you need to be aware of. In either case, this test is meant for you.
2. 1

   When your boyfriend takes you out, does he often treat you to the little tasty treats you wind up buying?

   Yes, he won't let me spend a dime.

   No, and he makes me pay for him... jobless bastard.

   We usually split the bill, but sometimes he surprises me by paying.

3. 2

   Does your boyfriend have any sex toys?

   Yes, but nothing crazy, just the vibrator and cock ring we play with sometimes.

   No, only vanilla sex for us, thanks.

   Uh, yeah. He hangs them on the wall. Flogger, cane, bit gag, restraints, you name it.

   He's waiting for marriage, perv.

4. 3

   Does your boyfriend slap you around?

   Yes, when he's drunk.

   No. Never. But sometimes I think he wants to.

   Onl;y when we're in the middle of a really good BDSM session, and I'm on my knees pleasuring him.

   He would be so offended right now if he could read this awful test. How can you think of these things. Oh my goodness, you people need help...

5. 4

   Does your boyfriend look at small farm animals and begin looking for sharp objects and/or mutter under his breath the inventory he has in the kitchen?

   Yes

   No

   Could there really be another answer to this question?

6. 5

   Does he love you and still humiliate you in private? Does he love you and still hurt you. Intentionally. With implements designed for the purpose.

   Yes, but that's how we play, baby. Don't you know that's how us submissives role?

   No. Please, stop with this crazy talk.

   Yes... But I don't think they were designed for it and I'm still in counseling.

Finished!