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The Half-Assed Fortune Teller Test

Welcome to the Half-assed Fortune Test, which is 100% certain to accurately predict your future- what you will do for a living, what your family life will be like, where you live, and how you'll die. It is more accurate than Mrs. Cleo, and much less fraudulent. There may be no clear rhyme or reason to why you score the way you do, but chances are there is no rhyme or reason why your life will turn out like it will. Believe in the results of this test and let it become a self-fulfilling prophecy. Resistance is futile. Viva la Resistance!

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