The Desperation Test

1. This test is designed to evaluate your level of sexual desperation. Do you have a desperate need to get laid ASAP or are you content with your exploits? You'll soon find out just how desperate you are.
2. 1

   Are you a virgin?

   Yes

   No

3. 2

   How many sexual encounters have you had in the past year?

   None

   1-5

   6-10

   11+

4. 3

   Do you masturbate?

   Yes

   No

5. 4

   How many times do you masturbate in one typical week?

   I told you I don't masturbate

   1 or 2

   3+

   I don't need to/I have a sex partner

6. 5

   How often do you think about sex?

   All the time

   Often

   Rarely

   Never

7. 6

   Do you have a porn collection?

   Yes

   No (shudder but I want one)

8. 7

   How long has it been since your last sexual encounter?

   Forever, I'm a virgin

   Less than a month

   1-3 months

   4+ months

9. 8

   How long since your last orgasm?

   I've never had an orgasm

   Less than 24 hours

   Less than a month

   Over a month

10. 9

    Are you horny right now?

    Yes

    No

11. 10

    Would you lower your moral standards if it meant you would get some tonight?

    Yes

    No (My morals are too tight)

    No (I don't need to lower them)

12. 11

    Do you feel desperate?

    Maybe

    God yes, someone take me!

    No I have enough sex

Finished!