The can you handle sex with me Test

1. 

2. Hi! And welcome to my can you handle sex with me Test. It's strange, it's freaky, it's probably not what you expected! So let's have fun.
3. 1

   I'm dancing in the most highly sexual sensual manner. You're hot, your aching, finally I crawl towards you and slide up your legs my lips barely touching you...then my daughter yells and giggles from the other room and you can hear her take the biggest loudest nastiest crap...are you still hot and horny and ready when I get back?

   Hell yes baby nothing stops me!

   Oh hell no that is freakin gross go take a shower!

4. 2

   OOOOHHHHHH my GOOODDDDD!!! I'm riding you, I'm screaming, I'm moaning, the pizza and orange jiuce catches up on me and I rip probably the most deplorable, god awful fart and you even feel it vibrate your balls...you...

   laugh/ignore it and keep on rollin baby! Then of course laugh hysterically when we're done.

   Stop immediately, what the fuck is wrong with this chic?

5. 3

   We're making out passionately, our bodies melting into each other in sweet delicious pleasure, allergies kick in and suddenly there's a snot whistle and it's not subtle either you..

   Try your best to ignore it although it's not quite as hot anymore...

   Politely ask to go blow my nose, tease me for giving the tissue a blowjob

6. 4

   I'm making your head explode with the most intense blowjob you've ever had, I attempt to deep throat and I end up gagging and wretching on your member. you...

   Make me stop and desperately ask if I'm ok

   Omg that was so hot do it again!

7. 5

   hmmmm yeah keep doing it like that baby! You're showing some skill with those fingers in such a manner that I might ponder making intercourse a close second to it..with all the deep breathes and moaning I belch obnoxiously with each thrust for like 5 seconds. you...

   That's right baby that's why they call me Mr. Soda Pop!

   Why does this chic eat that shit before we do this, I can't take it anymore!

8. 6

   Oooo well this is nice because here we are in a typical missionary position in the middle of many we'll be switching into of course, things are steady, they're nice, then suddenly my cat jumps onto your back. you...

   Freak out, in which the cat scratches you, then your pissed and..yeah catastrophe

   That's right kitty enjoy the ride! He'll eventually leave anyhow.

9. 7

   Hmmm, my fingers rake your chest as I ride you nice and slow just to tease you and drive you a little insane..."oh crap my hip! hold on" I proceed to grab my knee and and yank it which results in my hip sliding back into it's socket with a sickening grinding pop..."ahh that's better!" you...

   -shocked and horrified look hasn't left your face yet-

   All set girl? Yee haw hop back on baby!

10. 8

    Ok now, THIS is what i like, doggy style baby! Ramming me as hard as you can your balls swing hard back and forth slapping my ass, one of my other declawed cats runs right up behind you and takes a swipe at em (and wonder why they don't jingle) You...

    You wave her away and continue on with the carnal fun

    Finally lose your mind THAT'S IT! ALL CATS OUT NOW!!!

11. 9

    OK let's try this one now! In the middle of our 47th position I get the hiccups... "ohhhh-hic-oooo-hic-oooooo-hic-ooooo -hic- ye-hic-ah!!! -hic-" You...

    You quickly fetch me some water

    Grab harder and see if you can bang em out of me

12. 10

    Finally we lay exhausted after a good long romp, our breathing tapering down and suddenly it dawns on me "man I gotta take a major crap! ha ha ha you really fucked the shit outa me!" I waddle off to the bathroom. You...

    Wow...I'm never coming back here ever again!!

    Next time I eat the pizza and orange juice!!

Finished!