(Chizz) Hello and welcome to the Chizz test infomercial!!!
And to quote the washed up old prizefighter George Foreman: "This test is so good, I put my NAME on it!" (Until his lawyers got in touch and made me change the test to have my name instead)
(Bob, my Assistant) SO what does this test actually do?
(Chizz) Well I'm glad you asked that, Bob! This test was designed by KGB scientists during the Cold War to work out your worth as a human being. That way when the bomb dropped they would be able to work out who should be first in the line for the shelter...
(Bob) But those rascal Commies are long gone now, so why the need for a such a test in these modern Big Business friendly times?
(Chizz) Well I don't know if you've noticed, Steve, but we're all in a race here - A RAT RACE! Ha! So you've gotta check out the competition if you want to get ahead in life.
(Bob) My name is Bob, not Steve...
(Chizz) So anyways, this test put simply (cause some of you will indeed be stupid out there - that's just the law of averages for you) is a test of how much better you are than me (cause we need to have some kind of measuring yardstick here for the average man for this work, so why not me?! ;p)
And to quote the legendary 80's action superduperstar, MR T: "Look man, I don wanna hear no jibber jabber bout taking no test foo! Just take the damn thing you mofo! And I ain't goin on no plane either... Now where's all that milk you said you was gonna pay me with?"
So you can argue with me all you like, but you CAN'T argue with Mr T! He was BA Baracus and Clubber Lang in Rocky III for christ's sake!!!
