Ever feel like your career is stalled? That you're going to be stuck in the same position for the next thirty years, never getting any kind of satisfaction from your job? Maybe you get the sense that nobody really respects you, and that your bosses don't think you're competent enough to handle any kind of responsibility?
All of those are probably true. Still, it's never too late to trick people into thinking you're worth something. And nothing will help you claw your way to the top quicker than by learning the time-honored art of bureaucracy.
But before you can make it anywhere in the corporate world, you need to master the tools of the trade:
Buzzwords - If nobody has the slightest idea what you're saying, nobody will notice that your "revolutionary e-commerce initiatives" are really just you browsing the web for a few weeks.
Underlings - More employees means more sway. More sway means bigger raises, extra bonuses, and a quicker track to that top-floor office.
Ignorance - Huh? Money laundering? No, I get all my suits dry-cleaned. But thanks for offering.
Subterfuge - You've got to be sharp enough to know when bad things are going to happen. And quick enough to make sure the blame gets pinned on someone else.
All these skills are useful, but only one will get you out of a tough situation. This test will determine how savvy you are about getting out of trouble, and improving your own net worth in the process. You will be presented with a dilemma, and will have to decide what the best possible solution is.
Your result will be based on a comprehensive four-point analysis of your answers, which will include pattern recognition among your gender and age group. In the true bureaucratic spirit, the test will then discard this analysis and pull a number out of its ass for your final score.
Good luck.
