The Are you an *@!hole? Test

1. Hi! And welcome to my Are you an *@!hole test? Test. I'll be using advanced logic and knowledge to determine your true nature. During this test you will be asked several questions to determine your level of *@!hole-ishness. This is a short and simple test, so answer truthfully. Be aware that skipping questions costs you. Be forewarned, this test contains some profanity.
2. 1

   You are driving down the road- and a small, fuzzy, adorable animal runs in front of you. Do you:

   Swerve wildly to run over the animal, just for the fun of seeing it splattered across the road?

   Do your best to avoid the animal, but hey if it's you or them.....

   Swerve wildly to avoid the animal- possibly crashing, but as long as the animal is ok you don't care.

   Slam on the brakes, then spend the next hour trying to caputure the animal so you can give it a good home?

3. 2

   You meet someone on OKCupid, and you really seem to hit it off, so you meet in real life. But the real meeting doesn't go as well as planned- do you:

   Do your best to sleep with the person, then never call them after that night again?

   Be upfront to the person at the time of the meeting about your feelings

   Lead the person on even though you honestly don't like them, just for fun.

   Pretend you still like the person just because you can't bear to tell them.

4. 3

   You're on the highway, and someone is trying to pass you. Do you:

   Let them pass- heck everyone has to get somewhere.

   Give them the finger, but let them go anyway.

   Speed up just a little bit as they try to pass, but let them go around anyway.

   Speed up as fast as you can, and then when they beat your puny car, follow 2 feet behind them for the next 10 miles

5. 4

   In pictures of yourself are you:

   Smiling with a group of friends, or a friend.

   In the dark, alone, and or taking a picture with a cell phone and a mirror?

   Alone, but smiling- someone else is taking the picture

   Making a "tough" face- and or posing with a prop (i.e. alcohol bottle, pipe, jewelry)

6. 5

   Do you care about the starving children in Africa?

   Yes

   No

   I do care in some sense, but what can I do?

   Africa? Where is Africa?

7. 6

   Are you polite? Please, Thank you and whatnot...

   Yes, Always!

   When it suits me, or when it gives me an advantage.

   Most of the time- up to a certain point.

   No, Never.

8. 7

   Did you answer these questions honestly?

   Yes, to the best of my abilities

   No- what would be the point of that!

   Yeah....

   I didn't answer any of these questions- this test sucks.

9. 8

   Last but not least- do you think you're an asshole?

   Yes

   No!

   Well I can be...

   Whatever.

Finished!