The Are You a Jaded Romantic Test Test

1. 1

   Welcome to my compatability test. I will ask you random questions that I find interesting in order to explore whether you still maintain the seeds of optimism despite your intelligence and experience. It is a bit random but play on anyway.

   Yes

   No. I'm bored already- where are the dirty pictures?

2. 2

   Love at first sight?

   Is based on animal instincts and lonliness but is still magical.

   Is for drippy unrealistic idiots.

   Is worth feigning for a good easy fuck with someone wide eyed yet pretty.

   I'm certain that it happens all the time!

3. 3

   Bondage Domination Sadism and Maschocism?

   Gets me off good- that is all I need to know.

   May be wonderful to practice at times but are just a disguise and metaphor that meets the need for affection in a sexual context.

   Is a product of psychological inadequacy and developement- and it scares me.

   I've hardly ever thought about it let alone done anything like that. It is for perverts.

4. 4

   Threesomes and Group Sex?

   The more the merrier. All holes must be satisfied, satiated, and filled.

   Are a great fantasy but are ultimately unrewarding.

   Not as good as a touching the clouds lovefuck between the two of us.

   The idea disgusts me.

5. 5

   Do you stay up all night to talk and see the sunrise (with or without chemical help) OR make love all night?

   Yes. That is the passion and enthusiasm that makes life worth living.

   I haven't the stamina for either.

   God. You must be a loser. Talking all night is for drug users. fucking all night for 19 year olds. Why not aspire to live in the real world.

   All the time. I need this intensity like a drug or I can't function.

6. 6

   Swimming right out in the ocean?

   Yes. Even if it is cold.

   Just the shallows.

   I would if I could swim better. Teach me to swim better.

   No. The ocean is unpredictable and dangerous or similar.

7. 7

   Monogamy?

   Is as either God or Nature intended and is the best way.

   Is a social convention,maybe grounded in genetics, but can be a worthwhile sacrifice.

   Is an ananchronistic extension of capitalism. I will never allow myself to be owned by anyone.

   I have not considered why it exists- but I still want an exclusive relationship.

8. 8

   Western Romantic Marriage (boy meets girl they fall in love they get married)

   Is as artificial myth and has as little to do with romance as the eastern idea of arranged marriage. People nearly always marry within their class. In this context romance just preserves the status quo.

   I think it is silly and outdated but I still feel the need to celebrate a good union with family and friends.

   Is a wonderful and necessary convention.

   I want to meet Mr or Miss Right and settle down. And that is it.

9. 9

   Poetry?

   Sucks. All of it.

   Is often terrible- but there are some works and genres that really work for me.

   I love all poetry.

   I always prefer fiction/prose.

10. 10

    Politics?

    We are freer than we think.

    We are less free than we think

    We are both less free and freer than we think

    I'd like to say that we are both freer than we think and less free than we think but think that, on balance, we ar less free than we think and this answer sounds a little like an Aretha Franklin song. THINK.

11. 11

    Freedom?

    Overated

    Underated

    I'd rather my value was recognisned in a way that I valued than be 'free'.

    I am both valued and free already and maybe own a big car and a big house to prove it.

12. 12

    "We are all born naked, everything else is drag."

    True. But I feel comfortable in my assigned gender.

    False. You can tell a tranny came out with that quote.

    True. But I feel confident exploring the limits of my assigned gender role.

    False.

13. 13

    I like David Lynch but am not a massive fan although I'd rather watch David Lynch films than Eastenders?

    Yes. Even if I like Eastenders or whether I hate it David Lynch gets the nod.

    I like Lynch- who or what are the Eastenders of which you speak?

    I love Eastenders. Who is David Lynch?

    No- even if I like David Lynch I can't live without Eastenders.

Finished!