4- the Individualist

Romantics have sensitive feelings and are warm and perceptive.

How to Get Along with Me

• Give me plenty of compliments. They mean a lot to me.

• Be a supportive friend or partner. Help me to learn to love and value myself.

• Respect me for my special gifts of intuition and vision.

• Though I don't always want to be cheered up when I'm feeling melancholy, I sometimes like to have someone lighten me up a little.

• Don't tell me I'm too sensitive or that I'm overreacting!

What I Like About Being a FOUR

• my ability to find meaning in life and to experience feeling at a deep level

• my ability to establish warm connections with people

• admiring what is noble, truthful, and beautiful in life

• my creativity, intuition, and sense of humor

• being unique and being seen as unique by others

• having aesthetic sensibilities

• being able to easily pick up the feelings of people around me

What's Hard About Being a FOUR

• experiencing dark moods of emptiness and despair

• feelings of self-hatred and shame; believing I don't deserve to be loved

• feeling guilty when I disappoint people

• feeling hurt or attacked when someone misunderstands me

• expecting too much from myself and life

• fearing being abandoned

• obsessing over resentments

• longing for what I don't have

FOURs as Children Often

• have active imaginations: play creatively alone or organize playmates in original games

• are very sensitive

• feel that they don't fit in

• believe they are missing something that other people have

• attach themselves to idealized teachers, heroes, artists, etc.

• become antiauthoritarian or rebellious when criticized or not understood

• feel lonely or abandoned (perhaps as a result of a death or their parents' divorce)

FOURs as Parents

• help their children become who they really are

• support their children's creativity and originality

• are good at helping their children get in touch with their feelings

• are sometimes overly critical or overly protective

• are usually very good with children if not too self-absorbed

Renee Baron & Elizabeth Wagele, The Enneagram Made Easy. Discover the 9 Types of People.

Harper: San Francisco, 1994, 161 pages

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