5 - the Observer

Observers have a need for knowledge and are introverted, curious, analytical, and insightful.

How to Get Along with Me

• Be independent, not clingy.

• Speak in a straightforward and brief manner.

• I need time alone to process my feelings and thoughts.

• Remember that If I seem aloof, distant, or arrogant, it may be that I am feeling uncomfortable.

• Make me feel welcome, but not too intensely, or I might doubt your sincerity.

• If I become irritated when I have to repeat things, it may be because it was such an effort to get my thoughts out in the first place.

• don't come on like a bulldozer.

• Help me to avoid my pet peeves: big parties, other people's loud music, overdone emotions, and intrusions on my privacy.

What I Like About Being a FIVE

• standing back and viewing life objectively

• coming to a thorough understanding; perceiving causes and effects

• my sense of integrity: doing what I think is right and not being influenced by social pressure

• not being caught up in material possessions and status

• being calm in a crisis

What's Hard About Being a FIVE

• being slow to put my knowledge and insights out in the world

• feeling bad when I act defensive or like a know-it-all

• being pressured to be with people when I don't want to be

• watching others with better social skills, but less intelligence or technical skill, do better professionally

FIVEs as Children Often

• spend a lot of time alone reading, making collections, and so on

• have a few special friends rather than many

• are very bright and curious and do well in school

• have independent minds and often question their parents and teachers

• watch events from a detached point of view, gathering information

• assume a poker face in order not to look afraid

• are sensitive; avoid interpersonal conflict

• feel intruded upon and controlled and/or ignored and neglected

FIVEs as Parents

• are often kind, perceptive, and devoted

• are sometimes authoritarian and demanding

• may expect more intellectual achievement than is developmentally appropriate

• may be intolerant of their children expressing strong emotions

Renee Baron & Elizabeth Wagele, The Enneagram Made Easy. Discover the 9 Types of People.

Harper: San Francisco, 1994, 161 pages

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